Thursday, November 13, 2008

> get happy or die tryin'

am i happy?
if you’ve read here for a while you may not think so,.....but the fact is that i am.
it doesn’t mean that i don’t long for things or that i don’t feel bad sometimes. i choose to work out some of my angst here. that’s what a personal journal is for, yes? as what they always said sharing a burden with others lightens the load..

but happy i am.....i am comfortable with myself, i know i am blessed in many ways and i am grateful for a life without a lot of drama. but we, people always want more. i suppose that’s the part of intelligence that makes us unhappy...we know there’s more and we want it....never enough.

next year i will be 41. and in the past month or so i have been beginning to see myself differently. more like a grown-up- or more than that?- and i’m not sure how i feel about that.....i still want to be silly, i still want to play, i still want to be irresponsible sometimes, i still want to wear those ripped and torn fadded jeans....astro-boy t's, sneakers, read comics, anime gig etc... but now i wonder how it looks on me. people's perception of me... i'm curious if their perception matches my own sense of reality...but i guess i really dont want to know what people think of me...and i don’t think i am as concerned about what other people think about me as much as care what i think about myself ...

but sometimes i feel that the one who has the most inaccurate, skewed view of who i am — is myself. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

8 comments:

  1. tau takpe...
    muka hang mcm 21++ je. perangai mcm 11++ je. thats why we like u even more. can stand a grown up grown up. no fun lah.. lets be silly n happy. mwahh!!

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  2. typo - can: shud be can't. cikgu inggeris marah satgi..

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  3. if you look too old for your jeans yang nampak butt crack tu, I will definitely tell you beb...for now, have fun go mad.

    Heheh.

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  4. rul, cikgu inggeris tu cenge tau..
    bila nak Wii lagi ni..

    beb, hahaha very funny...i'm the president of the random-butt-crack society ok..dont pray-pray

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  5. batrisya can call you abang komar bila dia main masak masak nanti ok

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  6. faiz, good idea..hahahaha lama tk jumpa dia la...

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  7. Hey, this's Minh, ur student! Why're u so sad? It's not my teacher. Be happy! :D

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  8. Please la die trying to update this blog, bro :P

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