Tuesday, July 22, 2008

> man-thing

i overheard a group of women were talking and arguing about their exes.... some of them complaining how bad their exes were....and at the same time... elevating a few man they knew whom minor of them agreed is the perfect example of ' the man ' or a ' real man '! ....and that made me ponder about what exactly women mean when they say,

so i decided to ask you, ladies+gentlemen, what you thought a 'real man' is? i could have learn something here..

ps; there will be a blogging break until after sunday. i have to get lost in saigon to look for the happy!

Monday, July 14, 2008

> melancholy me

well, it's kind of a long story.... and people tend not to believe it, even though i lived through it.... it's not because cupid's still working on me, because cupid's never gonna be done with that.... it's not because of anything i've done or not done.....shuz! there for a nano-second i thought may be...may be, i'm cursed by someone sometimes and will never be blessed with a partner.... ? because of my past sins? but...i like to think that god has a greater plan for me, i don't know what, god works mysteriously, remember...hope it's something worth waiting...amin.
many-time i tried to put my self into.. errr more likely to force my self into a relationship.....but love and luck were not on my side, blame it on me.....i wasn't mentally ready then...too many things to do, so much freedom-fun to sacrifice for a relationship!

i think even if cupid had sent a woman dressed in a latest oscar de la renta's knocking on my door with a note that this is the gal i'm supposed to marry, i doubt if i would ever believe it..... though i've always wanted to be part of ' copula ' society, i spent years not knowing what i truly want and what would be good for me in terms of relationships. it's just the last few month there was a lot of transformation in me that i am probably in a place emotionally to be able to handle a long term relationship.

past that....
i never thought about finding ' permanence ' or my ' soul mate '....until recently, but here's the real trick, how to find the right one? not gonna be easy though....i always imagining to meet someone who share the same passion-interest i did....life is for living right? sure every one had responsibilities and didn't mind those...i enjoyed my work, earned a fare living..., owned a place and paid my bills on time but i didn’t want a life where those things constituted all there was...i wanted to experience life with my loved one, do stuff we both like together....no change that

so until cupid finally sends that someone my way and god feels she's appropriate for me.....single it is.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

> evil-knievil

i couldn't resist doing this evil-knievil test.... unfortunately i'm not cunning enough to post the link, or at least not at this time of the evening, sorry.
guess what? my result was that i am 28 percents evil! a bit of evil lurks in my heart but i hide it well lah.......

and apparently i am the most dangerous kind of evil...the rare-one of a kind...so beware hehehehehahahahaha evil style

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

> the soul’s best friend

after many years, it still amazes me how people can still be puzzled, suspicious and critical of how comfortable i am with solitude.
does solitude convey negative visions of loneliness and isolation....?

that’s so understandable.....we are social beings and we derive a large portion of our happiness from our connections to and relationships with others. our lives is spent in search of forming, and then nurturing linkages.....girlfriend+boyfriend, husband+wife, perhaps wife+lover vice-versa....
and being alone is generally viewed with derision or pity and typically equated with loneliness......... yes?

but strangely..., when i was dating someone decades ago, i was often lonelier than now...trust me when i said that being alone is better than a doubtful relationship!

many times have i been told, ' you shouldn't be alone ! '
once any of these linkages, or couplings, ends for whatever reason, the pressure is substantial to be ' with ' some-one or several some-ones.

' you mean you went to a movie and dinner by yourself, pity... ? ' this is asked as though it were against the rules to behave in this manner as though it was odd to enjoy these things by myself, ...well...not that i don't have friends..i am fortunate enough to have many good friends, some close ones with fantastic character...love to see them,to talk to them, to ' do stuff ' with them....

it just that...sometimes, i love to just be alone. It's not a garbo-esque kind of thing. it's not melo-dramatic.... it's just….well....., easier........ i don’t have to have a meeting to decide when to go somewhere - 10 points!... or where i want to go....i just go - another 10 points!. ...do ' stuff ' i like from am to am - 50 points!...living and dreaming my own dreams - lots of points!..sometimes i can just sit and watch the world go by... yes... it can be idleness but it can also be ultimately very fulfilling.....

solitude can be every bit as exhilarating as companionship sometimes.......but of course.....i had to find companionship before i figured that out