> melancholy me

well, it's kind of a long story.... and people tend not to believe it, even though i lived through it.... it's not because cupid's still working on me, because cupid's never gonna be done with that.... it's not because of anything i've done or not done.....shuz! there for a nano-second i thought may be...may be, i'm cursed by someone sometimes and will never be blessed with a partner.... ? because of my past sins? but...i like to think that god has a greater plan for me, i don't know what, god works mysteriously, remember...hope it's something worth waiting...amin.
many-time i tried to put my self into.. errr more likely to force my self into a relationship.....but love and luck were not on my side, blame it on me.....i wasn't mentally ready then...too many things to do, so much freedom-fun to sacrifice for a relationship!

i think even if cupid had sent a woman dressed in a latest oscar de la renta's knocking on my door with a note that this is the gal i'm supposed to marry, i doubt if i would ever believe it..... though i've always wanted to be part of ' copula ' society, i spent years not knowing what i truly want and what would be good for me in terms of relationships. it's just the last few month there was a lot of transformation in me that i am probably in a place emotionally to be able to handle a long term relationship.

past that....
i never thought about finding ' permanence ' or my ' soul mate '....until recently, but here's the real trick, how to find the right one? not gonna be easy though....i always imagining to meet someone who share the same passion-interest i did....life is for living right? sure every one had responsibilities and didn't mind those...i enjoyed my work, earned a fare living..., owned a place and paid my bills on time but i didn’t want a life where those things constituted all there was...i wanted to experience life with my loved one, do stuff we both like together....no change that

so until cupid finally sends that someone my way and god feels she's appropriate for me.....single it is.