Tuesday, June 23, 2009

> ayah..

june21st, means a lot to me. suddenly i realised how much i missed him, missed his touches, his love, his ideas, the fun & the good moments we had for 9 years ............... sad to say, i didn't really appreciate all his kindness & love at that time. guess, i was too young to understand what was love. i liked him....but sometimes i really hated him, hated him for not understanding my needs & not loving me...

june21st made me realised how much 'ayah' loved me, my imagination runs wild thinking what would he think when he saw me for the very first time, happy? worried? will our relationship be a success?

for me 'ayah' is a good man, no matter where he is now. he was a good man, he was a man with principles, also kind and helpful. that was all i knew about him, i didn't really know him, i dont remember when was the first time he touched my face. i don't remember the last time we had a conversation, but i do remember, at one time he cried when i did something bad. he knew something that i didn't know... and i was too naive to guess what was coming. my ego was so big, all i knew i was not his favourite...

june21st brought me back to the past, the past i don't want to remember, the ugly side of my life, a dark moment, a moment ayah walked away from my life................forever. i cried & cried, so loud, my tears were full with regret. regret because i know i don't ever have a chance to show how much i love him, to tell him how much i care about him. i don't know how to live without him, i started blaming others for our separation, i became errant..


  1. I'm trying very hard not to let my children feel the same way

  2. it sounds like you're a great dad, bro.