Monday, August 3, 2009

> memoir of the last prime

in another life,thousand years ago in cybertron... i was one of those autobot who get so caught up in romantic relationships that everything else falls by the wayside....happily married, with children and a white picket fence!! but in this life,on always seems that i am the last one to have anything wonderful happen for me...i have never been lucky at love or any sort of relationship...obviously la kan, since i’m not married and i’m not with the last person i dated!! that i think about it..every relationship that i've ever been in has never worked!...sigh.. that was deep..and the failure makes my mind acting just like those over protective parents!!!!......
i can't blame the mind, he's just worry and scared if the next one will also doomed to fail....takut hati aku rosak....tapi sampai bila? i know, sooner or later i've got to settle down....aaaaand to do that, one must have a relationship!!!...but how to start one if i'm scared of being rejected?

i want to be in love...i am trying..... maybe what i should be doing is to find some common ground, some spark that will catch and set things right... but i’m not seeing it and i’m not feeling it....maybe i should wait???.....wait until my mechanical mind agree to allow someone to be part of it?...but that's gonna be one hell of taxing wait!!..because my heart now has so much to give, and is so willing to receive..he is longing to be touched..and so willing to make someone else my life...hahaha 'the very the complex' lah!!

or maybe...i should just go back to cybertron....make a peace deal with the decepticons.....create a bio-morphic life partner and live happily for another trillion years, not....i don't want a fake satisfaction guaranteed and i don't think it'll last anyway.....
ish!..semakin lama aku tulis dah semakin merapu..this is what happened when your brain is in sideways...hahaha.....ok lah, i can't think of anything else to write dah...hence........i.....optimus prime, the last prime...the leader of the autobots will conclude this complex scribble with....' autobots! transform!!!'

p/s; fellow cybertronian...this post has been written under the influence of present state of mind..considering it ' a emotional entity '...kindly reserve your bio-chemical snickering for only yourself....truly bona fide...
optimus prime


  1. U don't have any relationship.
    Me? have a few relationship which is not going anywhere so far.
    But u know what? I'm not going to give up and will continue with my journey trying to find one and meanwhile....I'm just going to enjoy the journey.

  2. No relationship? Hang memilih. Tua dah cek oi! Tak payah nak memilih la. Hang jumpa someone who likes you, teruih grab. Jangan dok "Muka tak macam model", "Peliaq aku tak keghaih tengok muka dia" and so on.

    And when you like someone, don't expect the person to reciprocate immediately. The fact that there is response is a good enough reason to start slow.

    In the mean time, enjoy karipap keras Old Town White Coffee with crazy friends.

  3. Satu lagi...pasai longing to be touched, hang suruh Gemgem touch hang...kekekekeke :P

    I love you bro!

  4. komar, it's gonna happen one day ... trust me! (been there, done that) it will happen when you don't think about it and before you know it.. poof! naik pelamin :)

  5. aku masih terngiang kata kata "aku ni gay" kat telinga aku nih..