Friday, August 8, 2008

> retrospective

+ today is supposedly my big day

once in a while something happens that forces me to take a long look at myself, reevaluate my life and started to doubt all of the things that happened to me in the past few months. once in a while happened this morning......if you don’t know what I’m talking about, consider yourself lucky.

i tried to shake free of those memories, wondering why they'd re-surfaced with such clarity... was it because i am now wise enough to realize how unusual it was to like someone so quickly....or simply because i felt guilty......i don't know.

lately, it seemed i didn't know a lot of things......there were people who claimed to hv all the answers, or at least the answer to the big questions of life..but some of the answers may seen difficult to believe..there was something about the assurance with which they spoke that seemed self justifying.. but if there is one person who could answer any question, my question would be this -

' how far should a person go in the name of love? '

i could pose the question to hundred people and get a hundred different answers...most were obvious, a person should sacrifice or accept or forgive or even fight if need be...the list can go on and on...and i knew that all these answers were valid, but it cant help me.......something just were beyond understanding...
thinking back, i recalled events i wished i could change, tears i wished had never been shed, time that could have been better spent and frustration i should have shrugged off.

life, it seemed was full of regret, and i yearned to turn back the clock so i could amend my mistakes... and as i considered the question of how far the person should go in the name of love, i knew what my answer would be..........' sometimes it meant a person should lie....'


  1. There are moments I wish I could end my life. Seriously. Even when I am depressed sometimes, I wish I could just take that final leap off one nice building somewhere, imagine I have a parachute on my back, only to realise at the last minute that I do not have one, then hopefully I'd get cardiac arrest and die before I impact the ground below. I know I cannot turn back the block so jumping off a building is the best option. How?

  2. SD, whatever it is, this year's fasting month you'll be with Jazz. Me? Its not like last year anymore -no more you. no more the other couple who just got married. no mimin.nobody.
    i am scared to go thru it...

  3. Spena. Go tell Tony you want to become JHBAP manager. Then you can be with us.

    Or you can ask Tanda Gua to accompany you berbuka.

  4. bro, jump and hope to find happiness in a second life....

    spen, tanda gua? i think he's alright...check out his hip hop sneakers beb.. err i tak salah orang kan...

  5. love is too sacred to me...sometime i decide un'think'able have fun for a few moments only...

  6. ya la.. love demand people to do unthinkable thing...most of it r stupid unthinkable stuff kan..

  7. aku suka sneakers tanda gua.. very the...

  8. missing u kom.... ada balance fruit cake tak? approved by ur sister?

  9. Hello...Tioman pun dah dekat sebulan dah...mana update?

  10. aiz, lama tak jumpa hg la....bukak posa jom...
    dia kata fruit cake tu sedap, tapi boss dia tak try lagi..

    bro, hahaha nak update dah ni..