Saturday, March 22, 2008

something stupid

i'm not supposed to feel this way, i'm not supposed to care, i'm not supposed to live my life wishing she were there. i'm not supposed to wonder where she is or what she do. i'm not supposed to worry what she thinks of me. i'm not supposed to worry abt lots of thing!

this feeling makes me so vulnerable... it opens my chest and it opens up my heart and i feels like someone can get inside of me and mess me up. i build up all these defenses, i build up a whole suit of armor, so that it cant get into me...may be i should hv use kevlar brand ....sigh, life time guarantee!

then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into my stupid life...& i give her e whole piece of me...she didn't even ask for it....
she just did something dumb one day, like smile at me, and then my life isn't mine anymore.....just like that...huh

i'm worry one day so simple a phrase like ' maybe we should be just friends ' could turns into a glass splinter working its way into my heart.

it will hurts me bad!... & not just in my imagination. not just in my mind. it's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-me-and-rips-me-apart pain.
seriously,i don't want & i don't need all this..........

my heart tells me that it will happen soon...very soon.
arrghh...like what the northerner always said " biaq pi lah " ..let it be, & be done with it.
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10 comments:

  1. UnknownMarch 24, 2008 at 8:02 PM

    move on.... write a novel or paint! she don't deserve you bro

    ReplyDelete
  2. SpenaMarch 24, 2008 at 11:17 PM

    Its not stupid. That shows you are a normal human being with FEELINGS.

    ReplyDelete
  3. all jazzed upMarch 24, 2008 at 11:47 PM

    that's why i never give my all. until the right time comes. always have the upper hand. but you DO deserve someone better (eh, macam tau pulak aku ni)

    ReplyDelete
  4. SeaDemonMarch 25, 2008 at 6:22 PM

    Bro, you remind me of myself. When I love someone, I always give my all. I got hurt once two decades ago and then opened up recently only to be smashed again. It hurt me so bad that even though I tried to reciprocate some of the interests that were interested in me, I find myself blanketed with fear.

    I have, however, found the courage to love again, and I hope she stays for good. I cannot take another heartbreak.

    She does not deserve your love, bro, but do not give up hope as I almost did. Someone worthy of your love will come along one day. The only question is when, and who.

    ReplyDelete
  5. rainmakerMarch 25, 2008 at 6:52 PM

    faiz, painting? maybe.novel?hahaha
    thanks for everything b,ur space,time etc.
    i'm alright..

    ReplyDelete
  6. rainmakerMarch 25, 2008 at 7:00 PM

    spena, ur absolutely vodka..oops! absolutely right!hihihi thanks

    jz, must follow ur way la next time kan...tu pun kalau ada next time..hihihi
    the truth is she's the one deserve somone better laaa. wa waaa waa

    ReplyDelete
  7. rainmakerMarch 25, 2008 at 7:20 PM

    sd, terima kasih.i'l take ur advise.

    but now i pulak yg rasa sedih....
    hope this time ur gf stays for good bro....

    ReplyDelete
  8. SeaDemonMarch 25, 2008 at 9:53 PM

    Thanks bro...I do hope so too.

    ReplyDelete
  9. aizMarch 28, 2008 at 10:14 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  10. aizMarch 28, 2008 at 10:15 AM

    Blogger aiz said...

    rm, i am wit faiz... she doesn't deserve u.
    (anyway, i thk i kinda told u that looooooooooooooooooogggggggg time already..... ) so there.... biaq pi!

    ReplyDelete

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