> memoir of the last prime

in another life,thousand years ago in cybertron... i was one of those autobot who get so caught up in romantic relationships that everything else falls by the wayside....happily married, with children and a white picket fence!! but in this life,on earth....it always seems that i am the last one to have anything wonderful happen for me...i have never been lucky at love or any sort of relationship...obviously la kan, since i’m not married and i’m not with the last person i dated!!....now that i think about it..every relationship that i've ever been in has never worked!...sigh.. that was deep..and the failure makes my mind acting just like those over protective parents!!!!......
i can't blame the mind, he's just worry and scared if the next one will also doomed to fail....takut hati aku rosak....tapi sampai bila? i know, sooner or later i've got to settle down....aaaaand to do that, one must have a relationship!!!...but how to start one if i'm scared of being rejected?

i want to be in love...i am trying..... maybe what i should be doing is to find some common ground, some spark that will catch and set things right... but i’m not seeing it and i’m not feeling it....maybe i should wait???.....wait until my mechanical mind agree to allow someone to be part of it?...but that's gonna be one hell of taxing wait!!..because my heart now has so much to give, and is so willing to receive..he is longing to be touched..and so willing to make someone else my life...hahaha 'the very the complex' lah!!

or maybe...i should just go back to cybertron....make a peace deal with the decepticons.....create a bio-morphic life partner and live happily for another trillion years, not....i don't want a fake relationship...no satisfaction guaranteed and i don't think it'll last anyway.....
ish!..semakin lama aku tulis dah semakin merapu..this is what happened when your brain is in sideways...hahaha.....ok lah, i can't think of anything else to write dah...hence........i.....optimus prime, the last prime...the leader of the autobots will conclude this complex scribble with....' autobots! transform!!!'



p/s; fellow cybertronian...this post has been written under the influence of present state of mind..considering it ' a emotional entity '...kindly reserve your bio-chemical snickering for only yourself....truly bona fide...
optimus prime